CHAPTER 22
1989 -1995
AFTER
RETIREMENT FROM KIOCL
My
wife’s cousin was the Managing Director of a
cement manufacturing Company in Gulbarga District of Karnataka. He held the majority shareholding in the
Company. I was appointed as Finance
Director of the Company on a monthly salary of
three thousand rupees. To start
with I wrote programs in BASIC to be run on PCs for financial accounting. I trained the
staff
to use these programs to enter
cash, bank and journal transactions and produce cash and bank books, journals, trial
balances, balance sheets and profit and loss accounts. I also helped produce
financial information for board meetings,
bankers and the State Financial
Institutions KSIDC and KSFC who had advanced term loans to the Company. There was a part-time company secretary and
internal auditor who was earlier with the Deccan Herald, Bangalore as their
Finance Manager. She used to come once
in a week to attend to Company Law and internal audit matters. We used to visit the cement plant for
purposes of internal audit once in six months. My second son was the statutory
auditor for Rekha Cements and Chemicals Ltd.
He joined Kudremukh Iron Ore Company Limited in August 1990 as Accounts
Officer and was promoted as Junior Manager (Finance) in 1991. In October 1992 he resigned his job in KIOCL
and joined Tata Metals and Strips, Navsari (Gujarat) which he left in January
1993 and joined Shanfari Automotive Co
LLC, Muscat in April 1993.
The
cement company was operating only at about 30% of its rated capacity because
of various factors. It became a sick company and was referred to
the BIFR. There were proposals for
turning around the company but the parties concerned like bankers and financial institutions could not arrive
at a consensus on the proposals. Finally the assets were taken over by the
financial institutions on behalf of the creditors.
During
this period my second daughter-in-law gave birth to a boy, my first grand
son. I already had a grand daughter by
my first daughter.
My
second daughter passed Bsc (PCM) in II Division in 1989. She wrote the Common Entrance Test of
Karnataka for admission to Engineering Courses but could not get admission
under Government Quota. She joined
Davar’s college in Bangalore for the secretarial course and completed the course by 1990. I was
now looking for a suitable match for her. Her star was also Ashlesha
and so the search was restricted to boys with only one surviving parent
or no surviving parent at all. I had
advertised in the newspapers specifying the star so that only those who were
ready to accept girls born in Ashlesha need apply. We got the horoscopes
matched by a reputed astrologer. In the
meantime a couple of relatives of a prospective groom from Trichur contacted us
and and painted a rosy picture of the joint family to which the boy belonged. They had two factories manufacturing
Mangalore tiles. The boy, his younger brother and a cousin of his were
managing the factories. We had in mind a
boy with a good job, not one in
business. In fact we were about to
contact the parents of a boy working for an airline. However, the relatives of the Trichur boy
persuaded us to consider their proposal.
They had also matched the
horoscopes. My wife, daughter and I travelled to Trichur by train and, reaching there in the morning, checked into a
hotel. The boy and the girl saw each
other. Both the families were
present during this ‘girl seeing’. Immediately the boy or his
family did not convey their acceptance
or otherwise. We went back to our hotel
and waited for a phone call. There was
no response from the boy’s side. We
vacated the hotel room and proceeded to the Guruvayur temple and prayed to the
Lord. When we came out of the temple the
boy’s cousin and his sister were waiting for us outside the temple. They said that they had telephoned the hotel
but were told that we had vacated the room and were visiting Guruvayur. They wanted to go ahead with the marriage proposal. The engagement ceremony was to be conducted that
day itself. All of us together went in
their car. In a simple engagement
ceremony the usual vows were exchanged and a date was fixed for the marriage.
Locating
a suitable hall in Bangalore for the marriage celebrations was not an easy
task. Unless you booked the hall months
in advance of the marriage date you were not likely to get a hall to your
liking. Hiring a hall with all facilities for the groom’s party was one of
the major items of expense for the girl’s parents. Even the very modest halls charged not less
than rupees ten thousand per day in addition to charges for the use of water
and electricity. The premium halls with
all modern facilities and fully air-conditioned charged up to one lakh rupees
per day. Investing in a marriage hall
was profitable business. Some cinema
halls had been converted into marriage halls after the advent of
television. For my second daughter’s
marriage I had to book a hall for two days at a rent of rupees ten thousand per
day.
The
marriage was celebrated in September
1990. The bridegroom’s party arrived by
a chartered bus the evening before the date of the marriage. They were received at the marriage hall which
had been booked soon after the engagement.
The groom was taken in a procession to the nearby temple where both the
families exchanged vows. Marriage customs were different in different parts and
for different castes. For us, smartha brahmins of Palghat, the main rituals are
Kasi Yatra where the groom wants to
go on a pilgrimage to Kasi. The
bride’s father stops him and promises to
give him his daughter’s hand. Then there
is the ceremony in which the groom and
the bride sit on a swing and women of both families go round the swing, some
holding lighted lamps and some
sprinkling water from brass vessels with a beak. The feet of the groom are washed by the mother-in-law.
Women take balls of cooked rice coloured with turmeric and kumkum in their
hands, rotate the hands around the heads
of the couple and throw the balls in the forward and backward directions. Women sing songs specifically composed for
the swing ceremony. Another ceremony is
one in which each woman, by turn, gives
in the cupped hand of the boy and the girl
a spoonful of milk with small pieces of banana fruit in it. This the couple are supposed to lap up from their hands. The
boy then takes the right hand of the girl (called panigrahanam, holding of hands)
and leads her to the dais. The next ceremony is kanyadanam wherein the girl’s father gifts his daughter to the
boy, mentally imagining that the boy is Maha Vishnu himself. Next comes the ceremony of mangalyadhranam. The mangalsutra is a cotton string, smeared with
turmeric, and passed through two holes in a pendant-like object made of gold
and bearing specific images according to one’s custom. The two ends of this mangalsutra
is tied by the groom at the back of the bride’s neck. He makes two knots while the third knot is
made by his sister. The next ceremony is
saptapadi in which the couple go round the
fire in seven steps, at each step they
take a specific vow like to be faithful to each other, to be partners in all
endeavours and so on. The marriage over, we bid farewell to our
daughter which was the most difficult part. I was reminded of the words of Sage
Kanva in Sakuntalam of poet Kalidasa
where the sage describes his emotions on the verge of Sakuntala’s departure
from the hermitage to join her husband Dushyanta:
Yaasyatyadya shakuntaleti hridayam samsprishtam utkanthhayaa
Kanthhah stambhita baashpavrittikalushah chintaajadam darshanam
Vaiklavyam mama taavadeedrishamaho snehaat aranyaukasah
Peedyante grihinah katham nu tanayaa vishlesha dukhairnavaih IV -6
यास्यत्यद्य शकुन्तलेति हृदयं
संस्पृष्टमुत्कण्ठया
कण्ठः स्तंभितबाष्पवृत्तिकलुषश्चिन्ताजडं दर्शनम्।
वैक्लव्यं मम तावदीदृशमहो
स्नेहादरण्यौकसः
पीड्यन्ते गृहिणः कथं नु तनया विश्लेषदुःखैर्नवैः॥
“The very thought of separation from Sakumtala fills
my heart with grief. My throat is choked
by the tears I try to hold back. My eyes have become inert as I am in deep
anxiety. If this is the depth of sorrow
of a forest-dweller like me because of my attachment, then how much will be the
mental agony of householders at the
prospect of separation from their newly wed daughters?”
Now my daughter will have to adjust to her new
surroundings and relate to the members of her husband’s joint family. This may take quite some time and this happens in all arranged marriages. For some the experience is bitter, others
manage to adjust themselves after initial struggles. Only for the fortunate few
it is a happy experience. A
mother-in-law is generally lukewarm, if not positively antagonistic, towards
her daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law
shares the love and affection of her son which was exclusively hers before the
marriage. This is a natural
psychological process. In the West where
the son moves into a separate house with his wife the problems of adjustment
are only between the two of them. In India they continue to live with the
groom’s family unless, of course, the groom has his job in a place away from
where his family stays.
In
1991 September my second daughter was delivered of a baby girl by caesarean
section. The baby was quite healthy. We
named her Aishwarya. My daughter had problems of adjustment with the husband’s
family. The husband himself was
non-cooperative and did not empathise with her.
He was short on temper and used harsh words. His family was pressing for my daughter’s
return to Trichur soon after the delivery.
We wanted to keep her for some more time until she fully recovered her
health. We exchanged heated words with
my son-in-law and his family. Finally my
son-in-law sent his relatives to pacify us. Reluctantly we left her at Trichur
and returned to Bangalore.
While
working with Rekha Cements and chemicals, a gentleman came to the office and
introduced himself as some one who had come from South Africa and had lost his
passport and his cash. He said that he had to go to Delhi to get a
new passport and he did not have the money to buy a railway ticket to
Delhi. He said that his son was in the
Embassy or somewhere I do not remember now.
I borrowed some money and gave him Rs. 500 for his ticket. He had taken my address and promised that he
would send the money a soon as he got to Delhi. Leave alone the money, I didn’t get even a letter from him.
I
had another sort of experience on a different occasion. While I was returning
from Office someone stopped me on the road and said that he had met me at
Tirupathi. I said I did not remember to
have seen him. But he insisted that we
had met at Tirupathi. Then he said that
his mother had been hospitalised and she needed urgent surgery and requested
for some help. I believed him and gave
him a couple of hundreds which was all with me at that time. After a
few days I saw the same person talking to someone and trying to get some
money for the same purpose. Then only I
understood that I had been taken for a ride.
I was not averse to helping someone in need to the best of my capacity. On a few occasions I had met with people who
had come to Bangalore and had no money to go back to their village. I do not know how they approached me for the
bus fare but I was inclined to help in such cases and pay them the bus fare to
go back to their village. I could empathise with their plight. About thirty
years ago while boarding the train to Bombay from Madras someone had picked my
pocket and I had lost the tickets and the money. One unknown passenger in the coach had
advanced the money to pay for the tickets, though I had returned the money
after reaching Bombay.
Towards
the end of 1992 my nephew had come to Bangalore with his mother and sister and
we wanted to visit Kudremukh where my second son was working as Junior
Manager(Finance) in KIOCL. Prelude to
joining Tata Metals and Strips at Navsari he had submitted his resignation to the Management of KIOCL. From Bangalore we
had to take a train to Mangalore and from there go by bus to Kudremukh. At the station my niece and I had gone to the
main platform to buy something. Before we could return to the departure
platform we heard the whistle of the train indicating that it was about to
start. My nephew was anxiously waiting
for us and was about to make a request
to the driver when my niece and I reached the platform panting for breath and
got into the train. For some reason the
train had not started moving as if by providence. From Kudremukh we travelled by jeep to
Dharmasthala, Sringeri, Udupi and Kukke Subramanya and returned to Kudremukh on
the third day. All of us returned to
Bangalore by train from Mangalore.
In
April 1993 I entered into a Partnership with a person related to my ex-Finance
Director at Ranchi who was now Vice Chairman of Steelco Gujarat Limited. The partnership was for developing
application software for SGL which had set up a cold rolling mill at Palej near
Baroda. As per the partnership
agreement each partner was to be paid a monthly salary of Rs. 4500.00. My partner handled all the Finances. We recruited four programmers to write programs to run on PCs connected in an
arcnet. I wrote the design documentation
and also wrote a few programs in Clipper similar to the dBase programming
language. My partner and I took turns to
visit Baroda every month and review the progress of work. For one full year I was paid regularly Rs.
5000 per month, Rs. 4500 as salary and Rs. 500 as conveyance charges. Then the
payments stopped. As an equal
partner I was entitled to fifty percent
of the profits made during the financial years 1993-94 and 1994-95. Requests for settling my dues fell on deaf
years. The Profit and Loss Accounts for the two years had been padded with
expenses not actually paid. For example,
though we did not hire any accommodation for carrying out this work a notional
amount was charged in the accounts as rent.
Similarly salaries which were not really paid were charged in the
accounts. When all my efforts failed to
produce the desired result I issued a legal notice to my partner. The notice came back with the remarks that
the addressee refused to receive it. For
many days I could not get proper sleep brooding over what my partner had done
to me. Finally I executed a deed
dissolving the partnership on 13-03-1995 and forgot the whole thing as a bad
dream.
In
September 1993 my sons celebrated the completion of 60 years of my life. This was called shashtyabda poorti in
Sanskrit. Actually it should have been
celebrated in 1991 but that September my second daughter had given birth to her
first child and so it could not be done.
The celebrations started with punyaha
vaachanam which is sanctifying the water in a large brass or copper
pot with mango leaves and coconut placed
on the top. All the holy rivers like
Ganga , Yamuna, Narmada, Godavari,
Kaveri and Varuna, the Lord of the seas and the rains, are invoked in
the pot. The main program of the
celebration was the chanting of srirudram
which contains mantras propitiating Siva
who is invoked in the pot sanctified as mentioned above. Srirudram is at the very centre of Yajurveda
and the Panchaksharam is at the very
centre of this mantra. Srirudram is
chanted 121 times, eleven pundits each chanting 11 times. Then there is the homa, offering of ghee into
the sacrificial fire chanting
mantras. Finally the one who is
completing 60 years is bathed from head to foot in the sanctified water
contained in the large pot. We had
invited all our friends and relatives and the function was arranged in a
separate hall hired for the purpose.
Catering was also arranged on site and all the invitees were served
lunch. My second daughter and her two
daughters also had come for the celebrations.
During
the year 1992 there was an advertisement in the newspapers inviting
applications for the allotment of a few flats in Sena Vihar being constructed
by the Army Welfare Housing Organisation for the benefit of army
personnel. A few flats not taken up by
army personnel were offered to civilians.
My first son who was with TISCO headquarters at Bombay House applied for
allotment of a flat. Though he was not
in the service of the central government ( who had priority in allotment) his father (that is I) had served the central
government and central government undertakings in all his service life. He was allotted a single bed room flat which
was adequate for the two of us his parents.
His idea of applying for a flat was only to provide us with a home
without the botheration of rent payments and shifting of houses at the whim of
the house owner. The flats were ready for occupation by February 1994 and we
moved into the new flat on the seventh floor of ’M’ Block in Sena Vihar.
By
1994 my eldest cousin (my father’s eldest brother’s eldest son) had
completed eighty years. It is customary to celebrate the occasion as satabhishekam just as the completion of
60 years is celebrated as Shashtyabdapoorti. Combined with the celebration was the
housewarming ceremony of the new house
built in Coimbatore by his second son.
Both the functions were being celebrated at the new house. We had
received the invitation and we made it a point to attend this function. My cousin and I were meeting after a number
of years. He was 18 years older than
I. He had gone through many trials and
tribulations in life. His wife’s health
had deteriorated after the birth of his two children. He had closed the hotel he was running near
Anamalai because of continuing losses. He had joined the hotel business run by
his wife’s sister’s husband at Thanjavur.
His eldest daughter had died young after marrying. It broke his heart
but he gave no inkling of his anguish.
Undaunted he had taken everything in his stride. Now two of his sons were senior officers at
managerial level in public sector banks. One was a consultant for energy conservation. The youngest, a daughter, was a teacher and
was happily married having two children.
His wife had regained her normal health and his Satabhishekam was being
celebrated by his sons, daughter, grand sons and grand daughters, and relatives
from his wife’s side. In spite of what
he had gone through in life he never complained and, like a yogi, had taken happiness and sorrow with
equanimity. He never explicitly
expressed his feelings.
My
second daughter came to Sena Vihar some time in the beginning of 1995. She was delivered of a baby girl on the 1st
of June 1995. She had been told after scanning
that it would be a daughter. For a few days she was not in a happy
mood, she had been hoping for a boy for
whatever reason. Finally she reconciled
herself to the reality. This was her second child delivered by caesarean
section.
After
I dissolved the partnership, I joined
the ex-employee of Kudremukh who had founded The Karnataka Innovative
Systems, a software services company.
The company had bagged a contract in 1995 to develop application
software for a bulk drugs manufacturing plant, Orchid Chemicals and
Pharmaceuticals Limited, at Alathur near
Madras. The software was developed using Visual Basic for the front end (user interface) and Microsoft SQL server for
the back end (database). We
covered financial accounting, Inventory
management, production planning and control, quality management and sales and
marketing. I wrote the specifications and user manuals for the
programs and also wrote a few programs myself.
A girl working on the project was the daughter of a KIOCL officer and
had been accommodated in the project so that she could gain some practical
experience. There was also another girl whose experience in the company enabled
her to gain entry into TCS. Since IT and
software services employed mostly young people my interaction had been mostly
with such people. Working with young people made me forget that
I was nearing my seventies. I was happy
that they could benefit from my experience of more than 20 years designing and
implementing business applications and my domain knowledge related to the areas
for which information systems had to be designed.
******
Dear Shree Ramamurthi-ji: It is sacredly wonderful that you like that superb stanza from Shaakuntalam. I learned it by heart in my teenage and I have been convinced that it is the most beautiful shloka that I have ever seen barring some hymnal shloka-s in ShreemanNaaraayaneeyam and some subhashitams. (Of course, I write this as a total layman. I have never had the blessing to take a single Samskrta lesson in a formal way despite my deep love and adoration for it.) I have taught it to one of my sons and I recite it almost as if it were a hymn. By the way, there is a minor typo in the first word in the third line: Vaiklabyam
ReplyDeleteThanks for your memoir. It is a fascinating read as the new expression goes.
DKM Kartha
*कालिदास कृत अभिज्ञान शाकुंतलम का मूल श्लोक*
ReplyDeleteयास्यत्यद्य शकुन्तलेति हृदयं संस्पृष्टमुत्कण्ठया
कण्ठ: स्तम्भितवाष्पवृत्तिकलुषाश्चिन्ताजडं दर्शनम्।
वैक्लव्यं मम तावदीदृशमिंद स्नेहादरण्यौकस:
पीड्यन्ते गृहिण: कथं नु तनयाविश्लेदु: खैर्नवै:।।
*राजा लक्ष्मणसिंह द्वारा अनुवाद-*
आज शकुंतला जाएगी मन मेरो अकुलात,
रुकि आँसू गदगद गिरा, आँखिन कछु न लखात।
मो-से बनबासीन जो इतौ सतावत मोह,
तो गेही कैसे सहें दुहिता प्रथम-बिछोह।।
*महादेवी वर्मा द्वारा अनुवाद-*
आज विदा होगी शकुंतला सोच हृदय आता है भर-भर,
दृष्टि हुई धुँधली चिंता से, रुद्ध अश्रु से कंठ रुद्ध-स्वर।
जब ममता से इतना विचलित व्यथित हुआ वनवासी का मन,
तब दुहित विछोह नूतन से, पाते कितनी व्यथा गृहीजन!
(सप्तपर्णा, पृष्ठ 196)
*सत्यदेव चौधरी द्वारा अनुवाद-*
आज विदा होगी शकुंतला, सोच हुआ है मनुआ आकुल,
रोके से अँसुवन के, अब कण्ठ मेरा है भर्राया,
औ, चिन्ता से आँखे मेरी हो गई हैं अब सूनी-सूनी।
अरण्य-निवासी स्नेह के कारण, हूँ जब विचलित इतना,
घरबारी जन की कौन दशा तब, सुता-बिरह के नूतन दु:ख में।
*बिशेश्वर प्रसाद मुनव्वर द्वारा प्रस्तुत उर्दू मुक्तानुवाद-*
दिल की है आज कुछ अजब हालत। हो रही है शकुंतला रूख़्सत
जब यह मुझको ख्याल आता है। दिल मेरा बैठ-बैठ जाता है
ज़ब्ते ग़म से जो काम लेता हूँ। आँसुओं को जो थाम लेता हूँ
रुँध गया सूख कर गला मेरा। हो गया बंद बोलना मेरा
ज़ब्ते ग़म भी किया नहीं जाता। लब तक इक लफज़ भी नहीं आता।
सोज-सा-सोज कुछ है आहों में। है अंधेरा मेरी निगाहों में
रंज यह है अगर मलाल है यह। मुझ से बनवासियों का हाल है यह
ख़ानादारी है ज़िन्दगी जिनकी। उन पे आह क्या बीतती होगी
जब भी बेटी को बाद शादी के उसकी ससुराल भेजते होंगे।
एम.एम. विलियम्स द्वारा अँग्रेजी अनुवाद-
This day my loved one leaves me, and my heart
Is heavy with its grief : the streams of sorrow
Choked at the source, repress my faltering voice.
I have no words to speak; mine eyes are dimmed
By the dark shadows of the thoughts that rise
Within my soul. If such the force of grief
In an old hermit parted form his nursling,
What anguish mush the stricken parent feel`
Bereft for ever of an only daughter.
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